Meeting women at bars is full of mystery and misperception. And more often than not, men feel compelled to answer two questions when locking eyes with a beauty sitting across the bar – 1) Should I break the ice by buying her a drink? and 2) Will this help me to get to “know” her better?
Before allowing your buzzed brain to make this decision, you might want to think about what’s going on in her mind. You may also want to consider that instead of scoring you points, buying the ladies drinks could be simply be a nerve-wracking way to empty your wallet.
To help guys out, with a help of Loveawake dating site we asked a group of real girls for the real scoop on this traditional dude move.
Callie, 26, musician:
“Basically the drink gets you the mic. If you suck, then I bang the gong and I am gone. Without the drink though, you probably wouldn’t get any face time.
Jeanie, 25, bartender:
“As a hot chick who lives well beyond my means, I am up for getting a free drink. I think the approach does score points as hey, booze is booze. They may look better after the beverage and a lowering of the standards. You may just meet Dr. Charming over a vodka soda, provided it isn’t well vodka.”
Janie, 29, writer:
“At a pub one time, a guy offered to buy both me and my friend chicken wings! We took them — duh! That was pretty awesome! What can I say? Way to this girl’s heart is through her stomach.”
Lauren, 27, Coordinator:
“I personally would not accept the drink unless I was interested, because I don’t want to lead him on/ have to make small talk, causing more trouble for the both of us. Plus, that would totally kill my buzz … ”
Emily, 27, grad student:
“In my experience, the unwanted drink offers far outweigh the welcomed ones. Buying a girl a drink is sorta putting a demand on her: She either needs to speak to you for the 10 minutes she nurses it, try to think up some kind of polite refusal or slam it back and say thanks. I’d much rather have a guy start a conversation with me about the weather or the news or whatever it is I’m drinking than buy me a drink off the bat.”
Sandy, 27, editor:
“I once let a Polish guy who didn’t speak any English (I think) buy me a beer. He gestured toward the bar and then at me, and I just nodded my head yes in a confused way. After he brought me the beer, he stared at me for a second and then walked away. It was strange and it was awesome. The beer was nice and cold.”
Sara, 37, bartender:
“Upping the ante may be the only way this dating ritual could be improved upon and by this I mean the gent in question buying, not just the girl he fancies a drink, but her friends as well. This will make a more substantial impact (not only on his wallet) and infuse an otherwise obvious situation with a bit of ambiguity and mystery. He’ll stand apart from the ‘May I buy you a drink?’ the crowd and perhaps come across a gentleman even if he’s not.”